As this week progressed I realized that I wouldn’t be able to post what I had planned. Thus, look forward to some fun reviews in the coming weeks. Until then I just thought I’d stop in and share some of my recent feelings, mostly of being thankful. Last week when I got my schedule for my part-time job, I had a bit of a start, first because I thought I was fired when I ddin’t see my name on the usual place on the schedule, and second when I realized I had gotten what added up to a promotion within my department. It is a small thing, but when you are cashiering at a grocery store (right out of college), are still in your probation period with that store, and they promote you, it feels good. I’m only moving from being a basic cashier to working at the service counter, but it has quite a bit of responsibility attached to it, including supervision over the other cashiers and how the front end of the store is run. I have to say, I am actually enjoying my job now.
Yet, there is a part of me that does not want to admit that. I am a graphic designer and a college grad, and I am supposed to have a high-standing job with a design firm by now, or started my own business, or have gone to grad school, or… All of societies expectations have been pushing down on me, telling me I’m not doing the right thing, that I should be doing more; mainly, that I am a failure because I am not enjoying a cushy job in my field of study. But all of these feelings have been weighing on me as of late. I had not been entirely happy with my part-time job. I haven’t had a ton of design work, my internship has been on and off, and my fiber has been highs and lows. This week, with an unexpected boost from my part-time job, I am starting to rethink things.
The world and society should not dictate what I want to do with my life. Maybe I enjoy my part-time job and the people I work with. Maybe I like having the freedom to take on varying kinds of freelance work in different fields. I am not sitting idle waiting to do something or find a job. I have these things, and they are not a failure, but a start to life.
Mainly, I should be thankful. I shouldn’t always be worrying about what other people think, of how society views me. Instead I should be thankful that I have been given the chance to do more at my part-time job. I should feel thankful that I actually enjoy this promotion. I should be thankful that I am still able to do design work and fiber work. I should be thankful that I am healthy and able to do all these things. I should be thankful. It is important to stop, every so often, and realize what you have is a blessing. Perhaps you are not following the standard path. Perhaps you are not where you thought you would be. But you’re somewhere, and just that statement should make you feel thankful. It has been a long week, and I am tired from all the running around, but it has been a good week, almost an amazing week because of a small thing that doesn’t have anything to do with my college degree. Sometimes blessings come in strange packages.